Flappy Bird

On the weekend I thought I was a bird. After dreaming that I was flying above the clouds, I woke up craving worm-like strawberry laces. I cheeped to myself wondering how I was going to get my fix of some sweet, sweet laces and after realising I was going to have to leave my nest, I got out of bed with a flap. 

Although a bright day with a blue sky and a happy sun, it was cold. Very bloody cold. I had to add on some extra feathers. I reached for this Urbancode coat. 

I went with my instincts and started to search the ground for something delicious to eat. 

As you can imagine I felt quite silly when I remembered I'd last bought a packet of strawberry laces from Tesco. 

After chirping to myself about what a silly billy I was, I decided to take off to Tesco. 

No matter how determined I was, I just couldn't get me feet off the floor. These ASOS over the knee boots must have been weighing me down, the sexy idiots. 

I gave them a good telling off. 

All that flapping got me feeling flustered so I flung off my extra layer. It's not because I wanted to show off my sparkling Sister Jane skirt to attract a mysterious magpie or anything...

Turns out no magpie could resist that shine. One soon came swooping down with his chest puffed up and started being very flirty. He even took these photos for me, tried on my ASOS hat and gave my New Look jumper a little stroke. 

I had to put my coat back on before another chap cooed at me and made my heart flutter. 

Turns out my magpie had already got me a packet of strawberry laces in my advent calendar. I'm such a lucky bird.